Speechless. Stunned. Kaku. Beku. I have never expected this. Aku.. ahhh. Susah nak grow respect terhadap orang lain. Bila dah nurture respect tu, bila dah ada..Senang pulak musnah, hancur bersepai. I hereby vow to myself, lepas ni jangan letak harapan tinggi-tinggi, jangan pandang orang yang aku adore tu sempurna dan baik dari semua segi, semua aspek, tak ada. Tak ada yang sempurna selagi namanya manusia, selagi namanya anak Adam. Penuh salah silap. Bukan nabi yang maksum, bukan malaikat yang taat. Just a plain human being, dosa terpalit sini-sana. Including me.Tak terkecuali.

Masterpiece

Cukup Bagiku - Opick ft Gito Rollis

Penuhi jiwa ini dengan satu rindu

rindu untuk mendapatkan cinta-Mu

meski tak layak ku harap debu cinta-Mu

meski begitu hina ku bersimpuh

Cukup bagiku Allah,segalanya bagiku

dihatiku ini penuh berisi segala tentang Allah

kepada nabi Muhammad, tercurah shalawat Allah

tiada Tuhan selain Allah, cukup bagiku Allah

Hasbi Rabbi Jalallah

mafi qolbi Ilallah

alalhadi sholallah

laa ilaa ha Illallah

"

if you were to get wet in the rain

that even wordly reason is unattainable

if you’re getting hurt by something so deep 

at least let me join your hands

i want to be a flower blooming in the wind

if your dreams were to be broken

and another day passed with nowhere to go

if you can’t even believe anymore

at least let me use my voice

to sing out the song that will carry you to tomorrow

just like a flower, just like a flower 

even if just bloom there, it is beautiful

every one of us, every one of us

has their feet firmly on the ground

the flower we each have, is kept in our hearts

even if this body were to perish

the stirring island wind would paint on my wishes

just like a flower, just like a flower

this life that just sways in the wind

from person to person and still from person to person

we entrust ourselves to the changing times

so that our ideals won’t be put down

just like a flower, just like a flower 

even if just bloom there, it is beautiful

human now are, human now are

have their feet firmly on the ground

the flower we each have, is kept in our hearts

just like a flower, just like a flower

"

森山直太朗  - 花

MORIYAMA NAOTARO - HANA

作詞：御徒町凧 

作曲：森山直太朗 

編曲：河野伸

source: here

Ahad. Cepat betul masa berjalan. Ingat hari ini nak sort out apa yang nak dihasilkan untuk projek arca. Google here and there, nak tengok tutorial dalam Youtube, internet pulaak jadi siput ! Punya laa lambat. Tapi tak apa la, dah ada rough idea dalam mind.

Hujan seharian. Scenery waktu hujan.. ahh amazing ! MasyaALLAH..Amazing for someone 'melancholic' like me la, orang lain.. sungguh ku tak tahu. Kalau lah snow yang turun bertali-tali macam tu..

Malam semalam punya cerita.. the three musketeers went to the convo fest. The three musketeers refers to us. Us refers to me myself, kawan baik, dan kawan baik. Tak plan pun nak pergi.  Jumpa satu booth jual produk ubat ke apa entah, yang dibuat dari dhab, biawak padang pasir tu. Tak tengok pun produk-produknya sebab tertarik tengok dhab tu. Jakun.. I know. Ada seekor jadik display. Mula-mula nak pegang tapi takut dia 'ngap' ! Tapi bila pegang-pegang kepala dia, ehh baik rupanya budak dhab ni. Gosok-gosok kepala dia, dia pejam-pejam mata, suka la tu. Tapi mungkin jugak dia mengantuk. Tak pun dia bosan tengok muka saya ni, haha. Comel jugak. First impression macam tak berapa comel, tapi lama-lama macam.. ehh cute la dhab ni,  err encik ! saya nak bawak balik dhab ni boleh? Lepas tu tengok tempat budak-budak main, amboi bukan main diorang bersuka ria, ada macam disneyland theme park, eh entah la apa nama benda tu,  ada pool jugak. Dalam pool tu ada this huge plastic ball, budak-budak tu golek-golek dalam plastic ball tu, golek-golek atas air. Dah macam hamster, haha ! Pasal makanan,  beli red velvet, ohh sungguh ku tertipu !Bukan red velvet pun ! Frosting dia biasa je, guna icing biasa, bukan guna cream cheese.

Got stage performance too. Perempuan. Lelaki pun ada. Menari depan khalayak. Erkk. Kontra habis, malam sebelum tu bukan main ada ceramah, sekali malam yang kedua..aiyokk! Sayang seribu kali sayang. Kaum Adam bukan main menengoknya. Rasa macam nak pi poke mata sorang-sorang dengan lidi. Amboi ! Tapi tak boleh salahkan mereka itu seratus-peratus. Tapi if it's me la kan, lelaki-lelaki yang bersesak depan stage waktu ada persembahan jenis-jenis itu, err takmau dibuat suami la. Boleh je elak dari pergi tengok persembahan tu. Kitorang yang perempuan pun tak tengok, segan ! Awak-awak semua.. apasal nak tengok? Haipp !

I had a rainbathe yesterday. Err is there such term as rainbathe? We do have sunbathe, but rainbathe...hmm I do not know..Apa-apa je la. I met my supervisor and he was so nice. I went to the bookstore after the supervision session, get myself immersed in books. Syurga rasanyaa! Nampak notebook comel-comel. Pantang betul  tengok notebook comel-comel nih.. Sebab suka menulis+menconteng dalam notebook. Beli tiga buah notebooks. What i'm gonna do with those notebooks pun tak tahu laa. Err membazir ke gitu? Tak kot, nanti tulis je la apa-apa pun, poems ke, quotes ke, it could be anything. I ni tradisional sikit, suka tulis dalam notebook rather than menaip.. simpan dalam laptop. Sebab.. suka tengok handwriting sendiri. Kenapa suka tengok handwriting sendiri, cantik ke ? #Farah jawab ni,  "Cantik jugak laa.." OPSS! =)

Malam semalam plan nak study, tapi sejuk-sejuk ni, otak macam not really functioning. haha pandai la salahkan weather yang sejuk tu. Yang betulnya awak tu tak rajin kan! Nggak apa-apa , harini qadha balik apa yang patut di study last night. Yeke?

Teman sejati hanyalah amal

Minggu keenam. Kelas pun banyak yang batal. Tengah kira hari bila nak balik rumah. Sakitnya sakit rindu. Demam, tergolek atas katil, takda selera makan, bila jalan tu nampak macam lantai dah transformed jadi wave, eyeball rasa macam nak terkeluar..pun takdapat lawan sakit rindu. Itu pun dalam hati ada angan nak study and stay abroad, heh memang tak dapat la kalau macamni. 

Lately selalu hujan. I love it when it's raining. Rasa  macam .. entah la. Duduk kat koridor, tatap langit, rasa angin tampar-tampar muka, I got this one feeling. Indescribable. Pastu teringat sorang kawan, dia cakap love is like the wind, you can feel it, but you cant see it, lebih kurang macam tu la bunyinya. Bukan main 'Shakespeare' ayat dia. Sebab tu suka betul kalau suasana windy. Cantik ! 

Sedikit sampingan..hmm tadi ada sorang ni, dia tanya, where are you from? Kedah, that was my answer. Lepas tu dia cakap, ohh I thought you're from .. Borneo. What ?

Time really flies, few days to weekend. Eh macam baru sangat habiskan weekend. Pejam celik pejam celik nanti dah habis belajar. Takut. Takut nak jadi dewasa. Am I able to? aaaaa. Last night, two of my friends came to my room. We talked. Pasal life, pasal study and everything. Seruu banget bak kat orang Indonesia. Seronok. Suka dapat kawan sama gaya pemikiran dengan kita. Sorang ni, banyak cakap. Suka sangat cerita apa yang ustaz dia bagitau, apa input yang dia dapat masa attend apa-apa program semua dia bagitau.  Dia kalau bercerita tu, penuh perasaan! Cute haha.

Nanti kitorang kumpul lagi. Pillow talk la konon. But no pillows, only laptops. And drinks. I like to share, I like to hear, I'm glad that we have fun this way. Macam boleh nurture our thoughts..somehow. Gossiping tak dibenarkan, nanti kena jeling, nanti kena cubit. 

Sharing is caring. 

When she is a daughter, she opens a door of Jannah for her father, When she is a wife, she completes half of the Deen for her husband, When she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet :)

Lifestyle

Lifestyle of Prophet Muhammad pbuh:

Talk softly,
Walk humbly,
Eat sensibly,

Breathe deeply,
Sleep sufficiently,
Dress properly,
Intract politely,
Act fearlessly,
Work patiently,
Think truthfully,
Believe correctly,
Behave decently,
Learn practically,
Plan orderly,
Earn honestly,
Spend intelligently,
Sacrifice regularly,
Worship dedicatedly,
Serve parents happily,
Respect neighbours appropriately …

May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him. Aameen

-Mufti Ismael Menk

source: here

Sunday. Beautiful Sunday morning it was. Windy.  Alone in my room. I'd like to be alone sometimes, its my own way to unwind. Mama called me in the morning, I was talking to her and that little fella, Akif..datang menyibuk. He was so funny, blabbering this and that. Then I read. I sketched. I sang. I got this one song engraved in my mind since yesterday evening. Nice song it is, I looked up for the lyrics, nothing is wrong but then I found out the video clip of the song, the storyline in that vc is about .. haha I don't know how to put this into words. Back to the sketching stuff,  I always wanted to sketch a comic strip but unfortunately, the talent is just not there. I may be good in sketching portraits but not a comic strip. I have to be multi-talented.. I have to ! I really need to start sewing, do some DIY activities, come out with creative writing and the list goes on.....

Source:  here

Saturday. Weekend. Patutnya kena khatam short stories yang berkajang-kajang tu. Tapi, haha takda mood la nak get myself into literature today. Esok ajahh. Jenuh la marathon semua cerita tu esok. I got my room tidied up this morning, sambung yang semalam punya kerja kan tak habis kemas. Suka tau tangguh-tangguh kerja budak nih ! No assignments tapi tu la, I have to do some readings. Blergh. Sastera sangat, mau pening nak baca. Why don't the writers get their writings straightforward.. ni punya la berbelit. Apa yang nak disampaikan tu light and simple je, tapi ya ampunn ayat diaaa! 

I was youtubing, downloading some movies after I had my lunch. I flipped thru my journal, *journal sangat, tengok balik what I've written.. I signed in into facebook, read some updated news. Oo melampau eh puak syiah nan sesat ni, dia angkut geng nak pi serang Mujahidin Syria. Dah la kejam macam apaa ja  ! ee geram betul ! Laknat Allah ke atas all of you ! For my brothers and sisters in Syria, deepest apology from me, I did nothing much to help you people.. all I can do is just keep praying. Tapi ada jugak sesetengah orang ni tak faham isu, dia bilang buat apa gaduh sesama Muslim, tolonglaa cik abang, cik kak, read more. Tanya ustaz ustazah, tok guru semua. Ni bukan perang saudara, ni dah masuk soal akidah. Tak pernah ke bumped into video yang tunjuk tentera Basyar ni suruh Muslim sunni mengaku Basyar Ngek tu tuhan la, apa laa. Orang tu taknak mengaku, ditanamnya hidup-hidup and there are many more videos yang tunjukkan kekejaman dorang ni ! Mazhab dalam Islam ada empat saja okay, mai mana syiah bagai ni.. Luaskan pembacaan, luaskaannn. Jangan bergantung kat berita Tv sajaa, menyimpang sangat! Dikatanya Muslim Sunni tu puak pemberontak la apa laa, diorang mempertahankan agama, kaum keluarga, anak isteri .. itu dibilangnya pemberontak? Anak diorang kena bunuh kejam-kejam. saudara perempuan kena raped dengan tentera Basyar Al Senget, akidah diorang diganggu gugat, takkan diorang nak bersukaria? Haihh typical malaysian,(tak semua) terima bulat-bulat apa yang mainstream media kata. Read more please...ask more.. be curious.. wassalam

FSA, may ALLAH be with you guys ! Ameen

Qasidah Ya Badrotim

اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم

# anak siapa laa adik Mustakim ni, great voice + cute look. hmmm

I like it when it's sirimiri

Source: here

Found this on tumblr. Alahai that middle one, kenyit-kenyit mata pulak diaa. Grrrrrr

Quote

If I can see the pain in your eyes then share with me your tears. If I can see joy in your eyes then share with me your smile - Santosh Kalwar

#One word.. beautiful!!

Quote

We want to tell people how great Islam is yet we are not great Muslims - Tariq Ramadan

#terasa ni =.=

Little House

I fell in love with this song. Its kinda relaxing you know. Pretty voice by a pretty young lady. I bumped into this song when I was searching for songs kat youtube, Soundtrack 'dear john' rupanya, tak perasan pulak eh. Movie tu pun aku skip je bila tengok. Jiwang, I could lost my appetite kalau layan, yucks Tapi lagu boleh la pulak dengar.

-Little House-

  I love this place
  But it's haunted without you
  My tired heart
  Is beating so slow

Our hearts sing less thanWe wanted, we wantedOur hearts sing 'causeWe do not know, we do not know
To light the night, to help us growTo help us growIt is not said, I always know
You can catch meDon't you run, don't you runIf you live another dayIn this happy little houseThe fire's here to stay
To light the night, to help us growTo help us growIt is not said, I always know
Please don't make a fuss, it won't go awayThe wonder of it allThe wonder that I madeI am here to stay
I am here to stayStay

Today is Friday. Jumaat yang berkat, yang mulia, yang bahagia. I got no class on Friday. Hujan lagi petang tadi. Ada pakej guruh dengan kilat sekali. For someone penakut like me, mesti la menyorok bawah selimut.. sampai tertido ! Takut punya pasal la niii. I did nothing much today.  Awal malam tadi kemas bilik sikit, halfway. esok pagi je la sambung. Haha pemalas punya budak ! Tadi siang before lunch mama called me, we had a light chat. Oh ya, yesterday evening she told me that she had this dream. Mama bilang dia mimpi aku sudah nikah! Hahhh, apadiaa mama?? come again.. aiyokk kenapa mimpi camtuu. I'm not matured enough to handle a marriage.  Anakmu ini memasak juga belum pandai, habis nanti kalau nikah camna nak bagi suami makan, takkan nak makan kat luar, no wayyy ! tukang masak tu tak masak dengan kasih sayang, dia masak sebab nak dapat gaji ! Ilmu parenting juga belum ada, camna nak didik our babies.. hoho our babies gituhh (over la budak nih) .Taknak la nanti anak-anakku besar, meaning that dibesarkan.. uhmm how to put this eh..its like you jaga anak you sampai besar je tapi they know nothing, kosong. Mereka kena ada armour yang ampuh dalam mendepani cabaran di zaman penuh fitnah ini. Mereka adalah sahamku.Mereka adalah my love bugs. Mereka adalah......

eh melalut dahhh.  yours truly.. F                                                    

Evening Rain

Petang tadi hujan. Sebelum hujan mencurah ke bumi, langit jadi mendung. Cantik ! Ada this layer, warna biru dengan putih. Melancholy betul rasanya bila tengok langit mendung camtu. Lepas tu rasa melancholy tu pun hilang.. sebab guruh kilat kaw-kaw punya. Ambik, nak sangat duk feeling-feeling. ahaha.. Lari masuk bilik, hid under the blanket then fell asleep. Once I woke up, ada this sad feeling. Aiyok ! Sad feeling from nowhere. Apa laa. Tak suka aku eh rasa sedih-sedih camtu. Rasa tenggelam punca. Lepas cakap dengan mama, then only I feel better.. I dont know what's wrong. hmmm

I supposed to attend my ko-k class tonight but then I cancelled it due to the heavy rain and lightning and thunder. This kinda situation..it's scare me to death!  It's okay to get wet because of the raindrops but to walk under thunder and lightning? No way. Rasa mau gugur jantung. Feels like hiding under the blanket till the next morning. How I wish I have someone by my side now, to ease my fears. Oiit !

HasbunAllah Wa ni'mal Wakeel ! =)

Friday is my weekend. My weekend started earlier than the others. hahaa. Well I finished my assignment during the day and got it submitted after lunch hour. I went online after Zuhr prayer and read some articles. I was planning to had some senaman (jogging or some brisk walking) at the evening, well maybe at six. But then, I fell asleep half an hour before six! And... I woke up nearly at eight! aiyaaa. No exercises for today. Perhaps I'll have it tomorrow =)  #i'm practising a healthy lifestyle. well uhmm I'm trying. heheh. I haven't consumed instant foods for almost 5 weeks! No carbonated and icy drinks. Just plain water. But i'm going out tomorrow, secretly hoping that I will not fall for KFC or pizza and stuff ! UNHEALTHY =)

Something is not right.
This is crazy.
This is not me.

I had a wonderful night with my friends last night =) I shall remember the date. Oct 5, 2012. Looking forward to have another enjoyable night with you people!